I have always worked hard and put in long hours. I was used to it. But at some point it started to feel like I couldn’t keep up anymore.

Exhausted

I was exhausted all the time. I couldn’t focus. I would be talking and suddenly couldn’t find a word. I knew the word. I just couldn’t get it out.

I didn’t know what brain fog was. I had no idea this could have anything to do with perimenopause.

So I just thought something was wrong with me.

I knew the word. I just couldn’t get it out.

Hard on myself

I became really hard on myself. If I couldn’t get something done, I stayed up later. If it took me longer, I put in more time. I was already working too much and now I was working even more just to keep up.

I was exhausted and confused, and my answer was to push myself harder.

Not understanding

The worst part was not understanding what was happening. I had always relied on my brain. Suddenly I would read something and have to read it again because I couldn’t take it in.

I was exhausted and confused, and my answer was to push myself harder.

There were times I honestly thought, I am going to break.

But I kept going because that is what I knew how to do.

What I wish someone had told me

When I eventually learned that brain fog, trouble finding words, exhaustion and difficulty concentrating could all happen in perimenopause, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t known.

I wish someone had told me.

Maybe I still would have pushed myself too hard. But I don’t think I would have been so scared. And I don’t think I would have blamed myself so much.

I had no idea there was a reason I felt the way I did.

I thought I wasn’t handling my life anymore. I had no idea there was a reason I felt the way I did.