I always had very long, heavy periods. Ten days was normal for me. They were annoying and sometimes came with cramps, but never debilitating, so I learned to live with them.

After my son

After having my son at 34, they became much heavier. I asked my mom about it, but was dismissed. “Suck it up, buttercup,” she would say.

By my early 40s, the bleeding was extreme. I was wearing doubled-up pads with a large incontinence diaper just to get through the day. Once, at work, I stood up and flooded, spattering blood across my chair in front of my male boss. He had to drive me home. It was humiliating.

Dismissed

I went to my doctor several times. He told me, “Gayle, you don’t lose more than a tablespoon of blood every time you have your period.” Meanwhile, I was passing clots too large to put into words. Because I didn’t have severe cramps, I continued to be dismissed.

When my husband became ill, my doctor attributed my symptoms to work and personal stress. I could barely breathe, I was exhausted all the time.

I was passing clots too large to put into words. Because I didn’t have severe cramps, I continued to be dismissed.

The collapse

Then one day, I collapsed at work. My hemoglobin was 70. I needed a blood transfusion. Even in the hospital, as I lay bleeding heavily, doctors searched for another cause, maybe my colon or that I was sick in some way. When everything else was ruled out, it was never confirmed that my periods were responsible. It was simply that it wasn’t something else.

Finally recognized

It wasn’t until my late 40s, when I developed hot flashes, irregular periods, and low iron, that perimenopause was finally recognized. After skipping periods for months, my doctor offered birth control first. I was extremely overweight and a smoker, and felt I was already at too high a risk for stroke even though he didn’t seem concerned.

MHT, but not the whole story

Eventually, MHT was offered, but it was presented as something to make me more comfortable, not to address the problems I had been experiencing for years. I was told by friends that MHT was a cancer risk, that estrogen “feeds cancer,” and I was never told about the broader benefits.

It was presented as something to make me more comfortable, not to address the problems I had been experiencing for years.

I was never referred to a gynecologist.

What I wish

I can’t help but wonder how different my life might have been if someone had simply listened.

If I had been referred to a gynecologist or had more support from my mother or my own doctor, my life would be different.